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I can't believe I cried at school. It was called for, but it felt... I don't know. And all the hugs intended to make me feel better did make me feel better. But now that I am not with my close friends, I am struggling to assure myself that everything will be fine even though I know that I'm about to crack.
It's not merely anger - it's disappointment. One emotion I hate having. Given the right attention, disappointment will eat you up and send you into the unforgiving throes of depression. I have to say I am putting up a good fight, controlling it and believing that I can win it; but there's a little voice at the back of my head, nagging me, telling me that in due time, I will crack and start screaming at anybody who dares test my patience.
Damnit. This is the last thing I need. Given the disappointment, I feel nauseated now. I just want to go home and throw up. And then I'll sneak off into the night and drag a freaking 3.0 G-TEC pen on my tormentor's neck.
It's not merely anger - it's disappointment. One emotion I hate having. Given the right attention, disappointment will eat you up and send you into the unforgiving throes of depression. I have to say I am putting up a good fight, controlling it and believing that I can win it; but there's a little voice at the back of my head, nagging me, telling me that in due time, I will crack and start screaming at anybody who dares test my patience.
Damnit. This is the last thing I need. Given the disappointment, I feel nauseated now. I just want to go home and throw up. And then I'll sneak off into the night and drag a freaking 3.0 G-TEC pen on my tormentor's neck.
